There is a lot of misinformation about body language circulating on the internet. Perhaps the most common misconception is that you can reliably read the body language of strangers just by knowing a few general "tales." However, the reality is more complex than commonly believed, as reported by Professor Nick Morgan, author of books including "Can You Hear Me: How to Connect with People in a Virtual World?", published by Psychology Today. Body language is not simple; rather, it is multi-faceted, meaning that a gesture can have many motivations behind it. For example, a person may cross their arms when feeling defensive, but they may also do the same when feeling cold, tired, or overwhelmed with information, trying to protect themselves from having to absorb anything further.
### Close Relations and Friends
The good news is that there are two relatively reliable ways to read body language. The first is that most humans are reasonably good at reading signals from people they know well—long-time colleagues, friends, and family—especially when they are affected by strong emotions. For instance, when a husband runs home excited and happy about receiving a bonus, his wife can reliably recognize that something (good) is happening because she knows how her husband normally acts, making it relatively straightforward and reliable to detect any deviation from the norm.
### Involuntary Movements
The second method is that the involuntary movements of the human eye can reveal a great deal, most of which is reliably true. The difficulty with this approach is getting close enough to capture subtle changes in the eyes without appearing to be staring at the other person, as prolonged staring into someone else's eyes can be interpreted, in terms of body language, as a sign of discomfort.
Pupils can dilate when we love something or someone we see and enjoy interacting with, or even our favorite bowl of ice cream. Conversely, pupils constrict when we face something we dislike—such as a pile of dirty dishes or food we don't like.
### Revealing Preferences
The human eye can also reliably reveal some truths when attempting to choose between two options. The eyes tend to dart quicker towards the preferred choice, jumping from one point to another as a decision approaches. These eye jumps can be observed with the naked eye, and their speed and direction reliably indicate our choices. However, it isn't just limited to these details.
### Impulsive Individuals
The more we think, the more our pupils tend to widen. When burdened with thoughts, our pupils will begin to constrict. If something captivates our attention, our pupils are likely to remain dilated. Slight movements of the pupils can indicate personality traits: generally, the more dynamic the pupil movements, the greater the inclination toward impulsiveness.
### Dark Glasses
Considering that it is difficult to discern something as subtle as pupil dilation or eye movement, there is some scientific evidence suggesting that eye movements and pupil dilation can be subconsciously picked up, even if one is not aware of it. Therefore, perhaps the best course of action—keeping in mind not to create an awkward situation—is to focus while listening and observing the other person's face. This can lead to impressions that might coincidentally reveal whether the other person is lying or not being truthful. Hence, experts advise against making firm decisions based on what the other person says if they are wearing dark glasses.
