There are many common sayings that suggest strong and sincere emotional relationships are often accompanied by some conflicts and emotional differences between the partners, and now science supports this notion as well.
A new study has found that even those who have the strongest long-term emotional relationships may struggle to interpret some of their partner's emotional signals, leading to some emotional problems between them. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis conducted a study involving 120 college students who were in stable relationships, aged between 18 and 25, with relationship durations ranging from a minimum of six months to a maximum of four years. The aim was to study how these individuals perceive their partners' ways of organizing and expressing their feelings. Specifically, the researchers examined two coping mechanisms that partners may use: emotional suppression and cognitive reappraisal of feelings and the relationship.
The first mechanism can be clarified as an individual hiding their painful feelings and not disclosing them, whereas the second mechanism is reflected in finding the positive aspects and focusing on the bright side of any dilemma or issue. The principal researcher of the study, Lamis Al-Dosouqi, stated, "Partners tend to underestimate how often their partner suppresses emotions and overestimate their partner's ability to see the bright side of a problem that may evoke negative feelings between them. Happier couples perceive a more positive outlook in their partners than less happy couples." It is also likely that women view their partners more positively than men do; they often overestimate their partner's ability to look at negative circumstances with an optimistic perspective.
Additionally, other findings from the study indicated that "individuals who believed they had an 'emotional' partner were less likely to believe that their partner was actively hiding their feelings, and partners who were happier were suspected of using the cognitive reappraisal mechanism more frequently." A previous study conducted by other researchers also found that men were more likely to use emotional suppression compared to women, which is not a good trait as emotional suppression can negatively impact the relationship in the long term, while following the cognitive reappraisal mechanism of feelings and relationships is considered a positive attribute.
