Some parents resort to physical punishment when dealing with their children in an attempt to correct them and deter them from wrongdoing. However, most educational experts assert that physical punishment is not the right way to discipline children, as its harms outweigh its benefits, negatively impacting them more than positively. A report published on the "Psychology Today" website, which is an American site specializing in social, educational, and behavioral issues, concluded that physical punishment is not the best approach to dealing with a child.
The report states that "there are better ways to teach children positive social behavior, regulate emotions, cope with frustration and discomfort, and become better citizens in their families, school communities, and larger societies, which are better alternatives to harsh punishment." Experts say that the first two alternatives to physical punishment are: teaching a stop signal and using natural and logical consequences, both of which can successfully teach children social alternatives to undesirable behavior.
The third alternative that parents should adopt is teaching the child "self-control." This means that the child may make mistakes once or more, but each time, we teach them that this behavior is wrong instead of administering physical punishment. The report from "Psychology Today" explains that "even if the child does not learn the correct skill immediately, their brain is aware of what the appropriate responses and behaviors are, indicating a pathway for learning them."
The report emphasizes that the fourth alternative to physical punishment is "self-regulation." It follows up by stating: "Self-regulation cannot be taught through punishment. All punishment and physical strikes can do is elicit a multi-phase freezing response, where the child shuts down or disconnects. This does not teach self-regulation; rather, it teaches the opposite. It encourages more outbursts and conflicts because freezing only suppresses behaviors, somewhat masking them. This means that the problems are not solved but lie dormant. Once the next stressor appears, all that pressure will emerge, resulting in a larger explosion."
Experts believe we must train children to accurately read the signals their bodies send them, manage their self-talk, and become more aware of their motivations, enabling them to decide whether they want to act on them or not. We teach them to be active participants in their self-regulation. Ultimately, the goal of parenting is not to control our children but to help them learn self-discipline.
The report notes that recent research findings have shown that physical punishment and other forms of harsh discipline diminish children's ability to make positive social choices, reduce their empathy, and diminish their self-regulation capabilities. In other words, the reasons that lead parents to claim they strike their children are exactly the reasons that should motivate them not to do so.
