It is very common to listen to a continuous dialogue inside our heads; it may involve giving instructions while performing a task or random notes about a situation. This internal narrative that we carry about ourselves is often referred to as self-talk or inner voice. What is the source of this voice, and do we pay attention to it?
In psychology, self-talk is defined as a mix of conscious and unconscious beliefs, along with biases we hold toward ourselves and the world in general. Sigmund Freud was the first to highlight that we have levels of conscious and unconscious thought, with unconscious cognitive processes affecting our behavior in ways we do not realize. Therefore, talking to oneself can be positive or negative. However, our self-talk patterns are often negative, as we focus on preconceived notions that we are "not good enough" or "always failing," because our brains are designed to remember negative experiences more than positive ones, especially since we tend to replay events we did not understand properly in our minds, which amplifies our negative feelings.
Benefits of Positive Self-Talk
The writer and physician Deepak Chopra, in numerous studies, confirms that positive self-talk has a significant impact on how we see ourselves and the world around us. He emphasizes the importance of using positive verbal affirmations to cultivate positive self-talk, which is an important way to arm oneself against challenges with a more open-minded and optimistic mentality, thanks to three advantages:
- Reducing stress
- Enhancing confidence and resilience
- Building better relationships
On the other hand, Danielle Turner, a self-care and mental health coach, describes positive affirmations as "similar to personal magic spells; they are a personal philosophy that expresses our identity, what we believe in, and more importantly, what we are capable of. A specific phrase can help us focus our intentions and calm our minds." Turner suggests repeating the seven positive affirmations she designed for her clients to counter an onslaught of pessimistic negative thoughts:
1. "I focus on the positives in my life."
It is beneficial to shift attention to the many positives around us instead of excessively focusing on the negative situation we are experiencing.
2. "My negative feelings are temporary."
Allowing negative emotions to exist is the first step, while the second step is recognizing these feelings as transient, like waves that come and go.
3. "I feel good about myself despite everything."
Stress can lower self-esteem; however, repeating this mantra serves as a reminder that we already know how to feel good about ourselves despite any negative circumstances.
4. "I am not this difficult time."
We wrongly allow stress and negative experiences to define our identity, while they are merely situations we are living through. Instead of viewing tough times as reflections of ourselves, we use this phrase as a reminder that our value transcends our challenging circumstances.
5. "I have patience and compassion for myself."
Patience and self-compassion are essential for overcoming feelings of bitterness from things we could have done differently or more effectively.
6. "I will overcome this challenge."
The road to victory may be difficult, but with this simple sentence, we remind ourselves that we will surely reach the light at the end of the dark tunnel, with a greater sense of confidence and hope.
7. "I will not punish myself over things I cannot control."
In the midst of crises, our view of reality may be subjective, with much exaggeration. This sentence is very useful in reassessing the details of difficult situations that can be influenced or changed, allowing us to continue moving forward.
To maximize the benefits of these positive affirmations, experts recommend practicing saying them in front of a mirror. Visual cues are also an excellent reminder to adopt a more positive approach; for example, positive expression posters at home and in the workplace can make a significant difference in our daily thinking.
