One of the significant paradoxes we face in our daily lives is our strong desire to exercise high self-control, alongside the difficulty of doing so. Have you ever wished for more self-control at least at certain times? In truth, you are not alone in that wish.
The sad thing related to the wish for self-control is that we often realize its importance after it's too late, similar to our desire to be strong when we have to carry something heavy or to be wealthy when we need to buy something important. The desire always seems to arise at the wrong time and comes too late. However, a new study has primarily focused on the desire for self-control, indicating that this desire is particularly stronger among people who are inherently undisciplined or those who urgently need it in a specific moment or situation. Dr. Liyad Ozil, the study's lead author, stated that escaping this dual paradox requires some advance planning. He added, "The desire for more self-control can lead to better self-control, but only when this desire is driven by a long-term process aimed at self-improvement. If the desire arises when a person actually needs a high degree of self-control, it can be psychologically more harmful than beneficial in reality. In order for the desire for self-control to provide you with beneficial effects, it should occur at a point where change is both possible and timely."
Indeed, self-control is an extremely challenging issue and should be viewed as a long-term journey, rather than a one-time event or decision. During the study, nearly 700 participants underwent special tests to measure their desire for self-control. Researchers found that when people felt anxious about failure, their desire for self-control increased, as was the case when they believed their own resources were insufficient to achieve a task.
**The Self-Control Trap:** If all of the above was not bad enough, a previous study revealed the existence of a self-control trap, defined as a strong desire for self-control that unfortunately reduces real self-control in people. A series of experiments found that challenging tasks became more difficult when individuals had a strong desire for self-control to accomplish them. The problem lies in that a strong desire for self-control leads to a sense of lacking control and imposes greater pressure on the individual, causing them to lose or reduce self-confidence and ultimately fail in the task.
**How to Escape the Self-Control Trap?** There are various ways to escape this self-control trap, including: avoiding the desire for more self-control; linking your desire to achieve a significant goal logically and rationally, considering it to be in your best interest; setting very specific plans for executing your various tasks; and thinking about the task in a way that makes it seem easier than it actually is. Additionally, other techniques that have proven effective at improving self-control include self-affirmation and abstract thinking about goals.
